‘I spend half of my life at airports doing crosswords and pretending to sleep. Well, it’s lonely at the top as well as at the bottom of the corporate tree.’ – The Hoodoo Gurus
This week I saw the new George Clooney aircraft, er I mean vehicle, Up In The Air and, rather like the lyrics above, it brought back to me the utter redundancy of business travel.
I lived like that for four or five years. Obsessed with being upgraded, arriving in anonymous hotels and despite surrounded by familiar industry faces in the bar upstairs in the roof bar I never felt as lonely in my life. I thought I was travelling the world, but up in the air is very different from on the road.
Of course, that’s all different now. I own one pair of jeans, haven’t worn boxer shorts for 18 months and the idea of a trade show makes my body break out in handcuffs. A panel of mainly men in fitted jackets wearing big watches makes me think of machine-guns and hot, burning oil being poured down their… well, you know what I mean.
No doubt these words will come back to haunt me when the cash runs out and I beg to be readmitted to the altar of Amex business cards and the loving caress of an airport lounge with soft internet chairs and the scent of smoked salmon sandwiches.
And it may be coming sooner than I think. Living and travelling around India has suddenly become unsustainable and all because of one of those pesky little terrorists who travelled in and out of India on a multiple-entry tourist visa.
The Indian government has consequently, and quite arbitrarily, decided that tourists to India can only stay for a maximum of 90 days and then must stay OUTSIDE the country for two months before coming back or applying for a new visa.
Naturally this will instantly stop terrorism and India will be safe forever more. But for those who have made India their home are now stuck up the Ganges without a paddle… and will need to find asylum in Sri Lanka, Nepal or surrounding countries if they intend to return.
So things are literally up in the air again. Who knows what will happen? And then, in the most delicious of ironies, I have just received an email from a US Hollywood company asking me to arrange a slew of meetings in India.
Hahaha. Must activate that Amex card, must dust off the Gresham Blake jacket. Might even buy some jeans. OPEN THAT AIRPORT LOUNGE, I’M COMING HOME… but maybe I’ll think about it over the weekend.
Monty Munford has more than 15 years' experience in mobile, digital media, web and journalism. He is the founder of Mob76, a company that helps tech companies raise money and exit. He speaks regularly at global media events with a focus on Africa, writes a weekly column for The Telegraph, is a regular contributor to The Economist, Wired, Mashable and speaks regularly on the BBC World Service.
