Quite possibly the thickest Australian who's ever lived… and that's saying something


“Australian culture involves fun activities like barbecues, throwing people into pools and being at peace.”

Those illuminating words were spoken by Australian cricketer Andrew Symonds after it was announced that he would be going into the Bigg Boss house, India’s somewhat antiquated version of the Big Brother house.

He is as dense as a pre-global warming ice shelf and that’s saying something for a country that DOES have more than its fair share of idiots. I met one recently in San Diego. Thick as two planks, more like a Labrador than a man, but a good bloke all the same. Thick people generally have that knack in the same way that fat people are usually ‘jolly’. Continue reading

Steve Jobs couldn't light an iPad candle to Bob Dylan

The dust has settled, the iPad candles have tapered out and a-man-who-employed-more-creative-people-to-put-his-ideas-into-action has gone away; away to a most uncertain fate.

Yes, Steve Jobs is dead. He once called death a great invention. Hopefully he is still of that view, but none of us know. I searched in vain for an ironic tribute in UK magazine Private Eye, but even that esteemed organ seemed to think that was beyond them. His death seemed too holy to satirise. Continue reading

Steve Jobs couldn’t light an iPad candle to Bob Dylan

The dust has settled, the iPad candles have tapered out and a-man-who-employed-more-creative-people-to-put-his-ideas-into-action has gone away; away to a most uncertain fate.

Yes, Steve Jobs is dead. He once called death a great invention. Hopefully he is still of that view, but none of us know. I searched in vain for an ironic tribute in UK magazine Private Eye, but even that esteemed organ seemed to think that was beyond them. His death seemed too holy to satirise. Continue reading

What happens in a Swedish digital prison, stays in a Swedish prison

I think I’m going to explode. To paraphrase Bob Dylan, I can’t see, I can’t hear, my head is busted, stomach cracked, feet splintered, I am bald, naked… lucky to be alive though.

That’s where so-called modern travelling gets you. Two weeks ago it was Ghana for a long weekend, then up at 5am to go to the Midlands, then on Thursday a flight to Copenhagen and a long train journey to Karslkrona, a prison in Sweden. Continue reading

American Idol gave it life, but the mobile web has killed the US text messaging star

I don’t know about you, but I don’t text as much as I used to. In fact, the list of contacts on my mobile is becoming less important than the chosen people I DM on Twitter.

It’s a cultural movement I wasn’t expecting as I used to text like a demon. Maybe I don’t have any real friends any more, maybe I’m a digital refugee who can only operate in a binary universe, maybe I should stay in more. Continue reading